7 Gentle Reminders for Grieving the Loss of a Pet

Research shows that 70% of American households own a pet. That said, there aren't many resources about processing or coping with losing a pet.

Pet grief can be an emotionally draining and lonely time. You may not know how to reach out to others or cope with your painful loss right now. You might feel a type pain you don't quite know how to label. And if you have another pet, you may feel uncertain about how to ensure their well-being during this time.

Here are some gentle reminders for coping with pet loss.

You're Allowed to Grieve

Although it sounds like obvious advice, it's worth reiterating. You are allowed to experience grief right now. You are allowed to miss your pet or feel sad about the loss or feel angry about how they died.

Try not to dismiss or intellectualize your feel. Dismissiveness sounds like, It was just a dog! Every animal dies at some point. Intellectualization sounds like, They lived longer than the average life span. I should be grateful for that.

It's okay to sit with your feelings right now. You and your pet shared a unique bond, and you're allowed to honor that relationship.

You Should Still Take Care of Your Basic Needs

Grief has a way of affecting every part of your daily routine. It can disrupt sleep, impact appetite, and trigger existential dread about everything in life. You may notice yourself feeling more apathetic, anxious, or disconnected than usual.

That said, as much as possible, despite the grief, aim to take care of yourself. Try to stick to a routine, even if the schedule feels off-balance. If you have other pets, make sure you feed and care for them.

If you're struggling to look after yourself, enlist in friends or family to help. Remember that people often want to provide support during these vulnerable times. However, they don't necessarily know what to do. You can assign them direct tasks like going grocery shopping or picking up your dry cleaning.

Grief Looks Different For Everyone

Maybe you feel guilty for feeling some relief after your pet dies. Perhaps you feel angry that your child doesn't have an outward reaction at all. Maybe you're thinking about getting another pet and feeling ashamed at the idea of a "replacement" animal.

It's important to remember that grief is a unique process, and it's normal to experience alternating feelings of sadness, anger, confusion, and relief. Likewise, these feelings may ebb and flow, particularly as memories emerge or when you feel acutely reminded of your pet's absence.

Not Everyone Will Understand the Emotional Gravity of Losing a Pet

How did they die? You had so many years together. At least it wasn't your child. When are you going to get a new pet? I know exactly how you feel.

Unfortunately, people aren't always validating or supportive when it comes to pet loss. Usually, these harmful comments aren't intentional. Friends and family may not fully understand the role your beloved pet played in your emotional well-being. Young children may seemingly have no reaction to the loss.

However, you have a right to tell people how their words affect you. For example, you might simply say, I know you probably didn't mean to hurt me, but your comment made me feel sad.

It may also be helpful to consider connecting with other pet owners who recently experienced a death. Consider looking into local pet loss support groups- there are many free online and in-person meetings available across the country.

You Don't Have to Break the News Until You're Ready

You don't have to announce the death of a pet right away. In fact, some people need to say goodbye (in their own way) before letting others know what happened.

That's perfectly reasonable. Talking too soon can be painful, and you're allowed to choose your own timing when it comes to discussing the loss.

With that, be mindful of posting content on social media. While it's a good idea to let immediate family and friends know, you may not feel ready for public disclosure.

You May Feel Conflicted About Getting Another Pet (And That's Okay)

Some people want a new companion soon after their pet dies. Others wonder if another animal can even remotely compare to the one they just lost. Subsequently, some pet owners experience a mix of both thoughts.

There's no perfect time to get a pet. Likewise, there's no exact time for grief.

But in most cases, it's best to give your feelings some time to sit. You want to feel ready to embrace a new pet into your life, but you don't want to try to rush the grieving process.

You’re Allowed to Seek Professional Guidance

Grieving the loss of a pet can be challenging, but you don't have to experience this discomfort alone. Your feelings are real, and it’s important to honor them.

I am here to support you during your grieving process. Together, we can process your feelings and discuss healthy ways to cope with the loss. We can also revisit meaningful memories and honor your pet in a way that feels authentic to you. Contact me today to get started.